Life is never going to be perfect. I need to accept this and move on. As I struggle to find balance and contentment, I must remember that there will hardly be a span of time that life is perfect. Yes, I hope to have many moments that are. However, balance is not something that is achieved and then remains stagnant. Every day I will have to work on it for it to come to fruition. I have put in place aspects that lend itself to a more balanced life. I am slowly finding that I have to put in effort daily to reap the benefits of a more relaxed life filled with more of the things I want to be doing.
Now that I am working part-time, I find myself thinking more about all the things “I should be doing” as a mom. While before I gave myself more leeway to not be the idealized version of what I thought was a perfect mom. I suddenly feel this pressure to be super-mom now that I spend 11 hours less a week at work. I am not sure I am using the hours I have gained productively. I still feel like we are always rushing around and I definitely haven’t gained any personal time. As a matter of fact, I feel like I have lost it. What’s a girl do to?
One of the things that is in my control is the number of hours I work. I am required to work between 20-29 each week. I have been maxing my hours to 29 because our budget is out of control. Perhaps if I get our finances back in line, I can reduce my hours to 20 which would be a great help! This would free up both Wednesday and Friday mornings to get things done without the kids.
Well, it looks like its time to reevaluate the budget…again! Why does everything come back to money?!
One of the many things I love about my in-laws is that they request their grandchildren to visit them for about a month during the summer. My daughter has been going since she was 2 1/2 and my son went for the first time last summer. Its a total win-win. They get to connect with their extended family and I get a break from all the details that come with being a mom! I just put them and the husband on a plane this morning and am enjoying the quiet in my house! I am missing them already, but am thinking of all the things I want to accomplish while they are gone including:
- Declutter and reorganize the house! I truly believe in having a simple home that is free from clutter. During the year, we have managed to collect quite a lot of things that I hope to organize, recycle, throw out or sell! Its a huge task, but I plan to take it room by room! Since I am saying goodbye to my dream of a new house, I am hoping to make my house feel new again by moving furniture around and maybe it will function better.
- Socialize – Every year when my kids leave, I actually have time to think about all the fun things I would love to do. Then it dawns on me that I have pretty much neglected all my social circles because I’d rather spend time with my kids than have people watch my kids so I can go out. I have quite a few good acquaintances, but I can’t seem to develop good friends. Maybe I’ll take a stab again at trying to sort this out. Since I am so busy with the kids, I hardly notice during the year. Now, I am like…”Wouldn’t it be nice to have some girlfriends?!”
- Exercise – No more excuses that I don’t have anyone to watch the kids! I need to be on my yoga mat working it out like 7 days a week! (okay, that a bit extreme, but I need to go!)
- Saving money – Of course! With the new job, I really need to reduce my expenses! Naturally, the less mouths to feed, the less I should spend, right? Its easy to get in the habit of eating out when there are only two of us. My goal is to meal plan and shop our pantry. Today, I had fish sticks we brought for the kids that my son turned out to be allergic to!
- Rewrite my goals and aspirations – its been 5 months since I wrote these goals and they need updating in light of my new situation. I feel like I have been ignoring quite a few of them when I shouldn’t be!
I am excited for a fun, productive month!
I am a little bit quirky. I don’t like when I am forced to celebrate parts of human identity that I believe should be celebrated everyday. Days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day annoy me because it is an honor to serve in these roles. When I see my husband being an excellent father, I try to remember to thank him in that moment.
On Mother’s Day, my hubby wanted to take me out to eat with the kids. I declined and instead asked for him to wash, dry, fold and put away the laundry (something he never does). He replied that he would only do it if I agreed to go to a restaurant on Mother’s Day. Thinking about our budget and knowing we had a $26.00 restaurant gift card coming to us in a few days, I offered to postpone when there would be less crowds. He agreed and being the great husband that he is, he did the laundry anyways.
Last Sunday, he reminded me of our deal so we enjoyed breakfast at Mimi’s cafe. As we were waiting for our food, I caught an amazing moment between father and son. King was sharing something only a four year old would find amusing and my husband was giving him all of his attention. I am not a huge sharer of photos of the kids online, but this one warms my heart.